Four AM Epiphanies

I’m awake at four o’clock in the morning even though I drove Natalie and me back up from visiting her family for Labor Day…after five hours in the car, talking, laughing, holding hands and discussing our books…I should be sleepy. I mean, it’s four o’clock in the morning. I should, by all rights, be asleep.

But I’m worrying about the world. I’m worried about people like Kim Davis (as few as they may be) and how they so very viciously wish that Natalie and I were never allowed to marry. I can’t help it…when stuff like this comes up, I remember that I was homeless at eighteen because of religious, bigoted parents. I remember all of the heartache and suffering I have endured in my life for being gay. I think of all the heartache my beloved gay and trans friends have experienced. I think of all our combined pain, and it weighs my heart down so heavily.

So I rise in the middle of the night, too hurting to sleep. I kiss my wife’s sleeping shoulder, I slip out of bed, and come downstairs and turn on the laptop. Because I refuse to give one more second of thought to that pain, to that heartache and sadness, and to those stupid, stupid people who would hate me for being what I am.

And instead of worrying and that sadness…I work on my books.

I write lesbian romance FOR A LIVING (which is kind of the most magical thing in the whole universe). I tell stories of vibrant, courageous women who fall in love, who overcome their own obstacles and rise, victorious, madly in love. I give women like me, women who have experienced pain, something to smile about, something to distract them…an escape of love and magic and werewolves and knights and true love. And you know what? Telling these stories, creating these worlds…it’s a small, subversive act to put out these stories of women falling in love, being happy, getting their happily ever after…

But it’s a small act that is powerful beyond measure. Because words have the power to harm or heal, hate or love, tear down or create.

And, tonight, I’m doing the most subversive thing I know:

I’m creating a story about two women who fall in love, who end up happily ever after. Because the world needs less pain. And more love.


About Bridget Essex

Author of lesbian romances; madly in love with my wife, author Natalie Vivien.
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4 Responses to Four AM Epiphanies

  1. corikane says:

    thank you

  2. bskies423 says:

    Wishing you and your wife a beautiful happily ever after. You both deserve it 🙂

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